does the body dictate?

i think it was in a creeley poem... "the body is the plan".

i pondered that for a long while back when i read it, and today it has crept out of the history files and made an appearance in my mind again. i suppose this is because i am now reflecting on the divisions and unifying aspects between body and mind.

when our body calls out for something, some yearning for a physical experience, my mind often gets pushed aside before it has any chance to protest. it is often the body's desire that assumes priority. in the moment, this act makes perfect sense. it is all that exists. there was no before and there is no after. there is just now and the body and the physical experience. and then... it leaves. it is finished. then, the eyelids fly back open, the mind comes out of its morphine-like coma and it is expected to "deal" with what has just happened. "just act normal" it says. "don't make this weird" it says. "that was nice right? ignore your emotions" it says. "what is he thinking now??" it obsessively wonders. then, the parting. the goodbye that might be awkward or might not... you really can't tell. your body takes no role or position in the matter once the act is done. it is relaxed, lingering in its new odor, lazy and tranquil and ready for deep casual sleep. it doesn't care what your mind or emotions do with the memory. it only hopes that someday it will have that experience again. it doesn't care much how or when or who with.

you know you shouldn't overthink any of it. but you do.

you do.